Divorcing a Narcissist

Contemplating divorce is hard; going through it with a narcissistic soon-to-be ex is another battle. In addition to the stress of a relationship breaking up and changing family dynamics, divorcing a narcissistic person would mean dealing with blackmail, violence, manipulation, and unreasonableness. These narcissistic traits generally lead to a longer divorce process and significant financial burdens for the divorcing couple. In these difficult circumstances, a person seeking a divorce must be prepared to keep their and their loved ones safe and have relevant documents available to support their divorce petition.

Some of the essential things a person anticipating a contentious divorce with a narcissistic partner keep the following in mind:

Gather Financial Information

A significant aspect of a divorce is the couple’s financials. Financial information is vital to any divorce as it may affect alimony, child support, or the division of assets. A narcissistic spouse could lie, withhold, or manipulate financial information about marriage. To alleviate this risk, it is critical for a person contemplating divorce to get this information as soon as possible.

Financial information may include but is not limited to bank records, investment records, debt, income, and a list of properties.

Collect and Organize Personal Documents

In addition to the financial information, a person with a narcissistic spouse should have their documents handy or set aside at a safe location. This is critical as a problematic situation may arise where a person may have to flee the shared home unexpectedly, or they may be locked out of collecting their belongings and should have certain documents handy or set aside at a different location. Although replacing personal records is possible, it usually takes significant time and effort. Moreover, these documents are generally used for filing a divorce, incident reports, and everyday living.

These critical personal documents may include but are not limited to passports, birth certificates, marriage certificates, and identification cards.

Keep Detailed Notes of Important Conversations and Encounters

Narcissistic people tend to lie and manipulate the situation to serve their purpose. It is best to keep emails, letters, or detailed notes of conversations, interactions, or conditions documenting what happened to combat issues during the divorce process. This information may be valuable during the divorce when the narcissistic spouse attempts to manipulate the situation or recollection of an encounter.

Have a Safety Plan For You and Your Loved Ones

Narcissistic people tend to use violence if they do not get their way. During this tense time, the safety of the person initiating the divorce or the children may be threatened. A person must have a safety plan to ensure their safety and sanity during this severe event. Having a safety plan may mean they have a person who could protect them or a place where they can seek shelter while they plan or go through the divorce process. Such a safe place can be a local shelter, family member, or a trusted friend.

A thorough safety plan also includes having cash set aside. This is particularly important, especially if a person has to leave the premises immediately or would have unable to access the couple’s home or bank. By having some cash at hand, a person can safely seek shelter or facilitate a safe way to live away from a narcissistic spouse.

The Law Offices of Daniel J. Miller is committed to defending the rights and interests during the divorce process. Our well-experienced attorneys have successfully handled numerous contentious divorces on behalf of our clients. Most importantly, our lawyers are prepared and dedicated to guiding our clients through stressful divorces with narcissistic spouses.

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